WASSAIL BEATS WHINING EVERY TIME.

On this the eve of the anniversary of the birth of Whatshisname, I hope y'all are in good spirits. I would wish the same for our conservative brethren -- in fact I do! -- but many of them, I fear, are unreachable; their self-inflicted War on Christmas seems to have led them, like a lost patrol, into a deep fog of fear. While the Jerrys and the Tommys famously were able to share a Stille Nacht on Christmas at the front, I fear any outreach to today's brethren would result in uncontrolled burp-gun blasts of awful prose.

Here's a fine Christmas goose for us -- Aaron Goldstein at The American Spectator, whose holiday special is not a celebration of all that Christmas means and brings, but "WHY I PREFER TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS," which from its title would seem to be one of those "Why We Fight" essays about the way of life one seeks to preserve by combat, but is actually about Goldstein's sense of duty in the face of subtle but (to him) obvious persecution:

Now I have nothing against anyone saying Happy Holidays if they mean it from the bottom of their hearts... 

Nevertheless, I do find that when people do say Merry Christmas they are far more circumspect about it. The greeting is accompanied by a qualifying statement. For instance, there is “Merry Christmas and whatever else you might celebrate,” or “Merry Christmas. I hope I didn’t offend you.” Something is terribly amiss when one feels self-conscious or is afraid of angering someone about conveying good wishes to a fellow human being.

Maybe it's because I'm such a festive person that I light up everything around me, but I haven't had this trouble myself. I wonder where such an atmosphere of suspicion foments ... "Aaron Goldstein writes from Boston, Massachusetts." Well, haven't been there in a while, maybe it's greatly changed.

Also Goldstein went to a Unitarian Winter Solstice service and no one mentioned Jesus Seasonreason. Who knows what Goldstein was expecting from Unitarians anyway, but he gives his hosts a negative review:

What was also absent from this service was any kind of joy or warmth. I could not wait for the service to end. 

Now I’m sure there were people who genuinely enjoyed that Winter Solstice service. That’s fine with me. Yet I cannot help but think that such a service is a by-product of an American and Western culture that has been increasingly critical of Christianity and consequently has been made to feel guilty about celebrating Christmas.

Finally Goldstein found, in lieu of the traditional cab driver who agrees with conservative columnists, a UPS driver who not only wished Goldstein Merry Christmas, but even gave a little speech about it ("I know some people aren’t comfortable saying Merry Christmas. But it’s Christmas. I always say Merry Christmas. This is America. If I can’t say it here then where I can I say it?"). Eat your heart out, Tom Friedman!

And this is apparently what makes Christmas for him: Beachheads and bulwarks against imaginary hordes seeking to deprive him of something or other. Dear readers, of all my wishes for you, the dearest is that you never allow yourselves to become as miserable and paranoid as that. Gud jul!